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Cheney Loudly Booed During Nationals Game

Dick “Go Fuck Yourself” Cheney threw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals home opener today —

To the sound of thunderous boos and catcalls.

Here’s the video. Fox News actually had to mute the crowd, the booing was so loud…but they brought the crowd sound back in at the end….and they were still roaring with disapproval.

Cost of an illegal Iraq War – $280,000,000,000

Projected national debt – $9,000,000,000,000

Having the Vice-President being booed by 45,000+ Americans during America’s Pastime – Priceless.

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An Open Letter

TO: Gareth
FROM: Your Abdominal Muscles

Just an important note: Kicking off your new gym membership is a good thing.

Doing cardio on a stationary bike, followed by a Nautilus circuit, is also a good thing.

However, jumping right in and setting the Crunch machine to 110 lbs, when you haven’t done any gym work in over a decade, is a bone-headed maneuver of the highest order. Yes, you can still do the set. However, in return, here’s some lovely screaming agony from us to you.

Cheers, dipshit.

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Formulating the Perfect Ass

A psychology lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University has devised a mathematical formula to describe the perfect female posterior.

(S+C) x (B+F)/T = V.

It assesses shape, bounce, firmness and symmetry. S is the overall shape or droopiness of the bottom, C represents how spherical the buttocks are, B measures muscular wobble or bounce, while F records the firmness. V is the hip to waist ratio, or symmetry of the bottom, and T measures the skin texture and presence of cellulite.

It’s all scientifical. (Nods sagely.)

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