Nation Saved From Broken Air-Conditioner Salesman

So, the latest terrorist supervillain plot that Jack BauerBush & Co. have saved us from?

You know, the one that government officials have described as “one of the most chilling plots imaginable” which might have caused “unthinkable devastation?” An attack that would have “crippled America’s economy”?

When they caught these guys, it was all over the news. OMG WE HAF BEEN SAVD!!

Turns out, though, that the plot was never operational, they guys had no explosives, there was no financing, and no connection to any terrorist groups. One of the “conspirators” is a drug addict and occasionally homeless, and the ringleader sells used books on street corners, and exports broken air-conditioners to Guyana.

Of course, those stories, if they’re being reported at all, are buried in local papers. CNN, MSNBC, Fox….all silent. They did their jobs, after all — they told us of how the Decider has saved us from the Evil Brown People once more. Now, they’ve got better things to do….like giving us constant updates on the Paris Hilton jail drama.

5 Replies to “Nation Saved From Broken Air-Conditioner Salesman”

  1. All coverage of this “plot” seems to assume action-drama physics as well, where if you ignite one part of a system (no matter how vast or how well-designed for such eventualities) the whole thing goes kablooie!

  2. It has been officially decreed by the Department of Faith-Based Sciences that action-drama physics are obviously what God intended.

  3. Do you never watch Keith Olbermann? I mean, I realize that there’s a lot broken with the news machinary in this country, but when their prime-time news show has been calling it the “pipe-dream pipeline plot” since Monday, I find it hard to say that MSNBC has been silent on the whole thing.

  4. Goldarn that Commander Guy!!! Once again, he has foiled another insidious plot to bring America to her knees with the careful application of Used Books!!!

    No connection to any terrorist groups? You mean you haven’t seen all of the branches of Half Price Books that have been springing up like ivy?

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