Family Matters

The house is ours again.

My parents left early this morning, and my other two children flew back to their mom this evening.

I love them all, but I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t relieved that the vists are over. The week was stressful at times, nice at other times. I’m eager to get back into the swing of things again.

One of the problems that I had was the constant reminder of just how little influence I have in the developing personalities of my other two children. There are similarities, sure….but by and large, my 1 to 2 weeks a year is little more than a speed bump to the SUV that is my ex-wife and her S.O.’s influence. Unfortunately, there are some traits appearing that I have some real problems with, but I haven’t got a hope in hell of steering the ship….just a small chance to nudge the course every now and then.

Both kids are woefully under-taught on basic social skills, politeness, etc. My daughter is being taught that some things are appropriate for girls, and some things are not. My son is apparently attending an evangelical church with my ex, with the accompanying social views that result.

*Sigh* It’s really fucking depressing. I’ll keep trying to excert what little influence I can, and hope for the best….because I love them. I just hope it’s enough.

One thing that has become clear from things that the kids have said, both to me and to my oldest daughter— my ex-wife has some serious ISSUES with me, still.

For example: She still hasn’t sent my daughter any photos of her new baby (my children’s half-sister), because, apparently, she doesn’t want ME to see her. She’s preventing her oldest daughter from getting to know her new baby sister, even at a distance, because she’s afraid of what I’ll do. Huh? WHAT THE FUCK??? What the hell would I do?

When the daughter and I were out in Colorado for one of her school activities this past May, according to the kids, the ex kept repeating over and over in the car on the way to the event: “I’m doing this for her. I’m doing this for her.” She was freaking out because I was going to be there. WHAT THE FUCK???

I’m not some abusive asshole. I’m not an ogre. She cheated on ME, and left ME. How the hell did I become the subject of such major issues?

Sorry for the rant. Had to get it out.

4 Replies to “Family Matters”

  1. I would have to agree with …the only way she can live with herself and what she did is to twist you into the “bad guy” in her head…

    That assessment takes nothing of what may or may not have occurred between the two of you during the protracted custody litigation.

    D.

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