Month: January 2008

alive day
n. the anniversary of a close escape from death, especially one involving permanent injury. Originally coined by US veterans, and adopted by survivors of accidents, cancer treatments, etc.

A year ago today, I went into the hospital and came out with no cancer.

A team of surgeons carved a chunk out of my leg — a circle about 4 inches across (about the size of a CD) and 1 1/2 inches deep. A secondary incision on my lower abdomen was where they removed two lymph nodes for a sentinel node biopsy (to make sure the cancer had not spread). They took a roughly 5 x 5 skin graft from my other leg, so they could patch the crater they’d created.

What a year it’s been.

For the most part, 2007 was the Year That Wasn’t. I didn’t really get anything done that I had planned. I spent the first quarter largely confined to the couch downstairs. I didn’t get my official medical all-clear until about halfway throught the year. The months since have been a struggle to shake off the effects that the initial diagnosis and treatment had on me.

To be honest, ever since, it’s been a bit like waiting for the other shoe to drop. Stomach problems? What if it’s cancer? Headache? What if it’s cancer? Was that mole always there, or is it cancer? Almost like jumping at shadows….but no, more like being afraid of the sound of a gun, because at least there’s a reason for that. I’ve seen the gun, and heard it fired at me, and part of me is waiting to hear it again.

Not fun.

But it’s been a year. Another January has come round, and I’m still here. One of the things that scared me the most during the whole process was reading the 1, 5 and 10 year survival rates for people with the same classification of cancer that I had, but now I’ve cleared the first hurdle.

I’m not even going to begin to tell you about the changes this has wrought in the way I think about things, in what’s important to me and what isn’t, in relationships…any of that. As much as I’d like to, I don’t think that I have the ability. I can’t explain most of it.

Everything, in some way, is different.

It’s been a year. Bring on the next hurdle.

Just got back from seeing Cloverfield with .

Pretty damn good — definitely Abrams’ exorcism of post-9/11 trauma, in the same way that Gojira was a reflection of the early-50s Japanese psyche.

The best thing about it is that the monster attack is really more of a background element — the focus of the tale is how a handful of New Yorkers deal with the chaos.

The whole thing is filmed, Blair Witch-style, as a found document, a hand-held camera recording. As such, there’s no score — although if you wait through the end credits, you are rewarded with a track called “Roar! (Cloverfield Overture)” by Michael Giacchino (who does pretty much all of J.J. Abrams’ music). It’s a brilliant pastiche of monster movie bombast — especially the classic Godzilla march. Once that sucker is available ANYWHERE, I’m grabbing it. I doubt there will be a soundtrack release, since it’s the only piece composed for the film, and the only music aside from some source music that appears in the first 10 minutes of the film during the going away party….but hopefully they think to release “Roar!” as a single on iTunes.

Good stuff.

Something to keep in mind as the Media spins the latest Clinton inevitability story:

Check the delegate count.

Clinton’s win in Nevada, based on the precincts she won: 12 delegates.

Obama’s “loss”, based on his precincts: 13 delegates.

His precincts were in more of the high-delegate areas, by a slight margin. So, even though he “lost”, he comes out of Nevada with more of that state’s delegates.

At this point, though….I have the growing feeling that this race may end up going all the way to the Democratic Convention. Great for media ratings, I guess — but runs the risk of damaging the final nominee’s chances in the main election in November.

My bet (a theory I heard earlier today): Edwards stays in all the way to the Convention (because he opted for public financing, it doesn’t cost him to do so), and then uses his small collection of delegates to play kingmaker, determining the winner.