“You will never get what it is you want from him, that is to say, fair dealing…any further hopes will well and truly be dashed if you dare to entertain them.”
That’s not what I want, really.
What I want, more than anything, is closure. I want this to be done. I am sick to my very soul of this continually popping up and spearing me, again and again. Just when I think that my anger has burned it out of me for good, something else comes along, and I’m laid bare again.
I envy that others have that opportunity for closure.
I’m tired of wrestling with feeling like I’m going through another divorce; tired of feeling ridiculous for letting my guard down; tired of fearing that he and I might be more similar than I want to admit — I do not want to be that man.
I’m tired of weakness — feeling it, public portrayal of it, etc.
I just want this DONE.