Sorry.

I think that perhaps there should be a moritorium on my making any sort of attempt at meaningful interpersonal communications for as long as I’m still in the throes of cancer recovery-related depression. I’m just no goddamn good at it.

Efforts to rekindle communication that had fallen silent for a week, partially motivated by a desire to not feel so isolated, only resulted in pouring gasoline on a fire and making things worse.

Fuck. I hate this.

8 Replies to “Sorry.”

  1. Oh dear, you aren’t supposed to be good at this. I can’t begin to imagine the level of heartache that this recovery is for you, and you have my total sympathy and support. You are strong, you are intelligent, you are alive and you are loved. The rest has got to be totally sucking right now and the very act of realizing that you are in such a difficult place is a step in the right direction. As for fueling fires, the only thing I can suggest is perhaps putting on a delay- say holding an email an hour before sending, or whatever. There are resources for the depression part that I can recommend if that might be helpful, and lets get you some company there eh?

  2. You have a right to be out of sorts. I am sorry that I am just no good at these things, and don’t know what to say except that you are missed, and feel better.

  3. I’ll say this. He keeps rubbing more and more the wrong way, and thus far, I’ve not said anything. But currently he’s sitting on my last nerve.

  4. It’s hard to do anything at all when one is carrying the load you are. Know that you are loved and appreciated. If I can do anything, just let me know! (Even if it means driving to Lawrence!! :^)~ )

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.