Heartland

Back from the Festival as of last night.

I was going to post a bunch of quotes that had stuck in my head (“Fuck a bunch of that”, “Tick on your junk”, etc.), but looking back now, I find that they would only speak to the social aspect of the week, which, while extremely enjoyable, pales in comparison to the emotional and spiritual experiences that I had.

I don’t often talk about those things — I realize that. They are intensely private to me, and I prefer to sit comfortably behind a screen of humor, sarcasm and word-play. Do not, however, mistake my usual mockery for a lack of belief, or a lack of reverence. It’s just that I find it hard to speak in those terms, even to friends.

Over the past week:

  • I worked palpable magic for the first time in well over a decade, which filled me with sensations that I had forgotten almost entirely.
  • I performed a solo ritual that gave me a much-needed cartharsis, and allowed me to let go of a connection that was bringing me nothing but pain.
  • I connected emotionally to several individuals with a vulnerability that would have normally scared me to death — but I came out of it strengthened.

There is so much more. I find it impossible to summarize. I do wish that it was easier for me to speak like this, without the “cleverness” — and I am thankful for those that put up with my usual manner.

So much more that I want to say. I need to learn how.

6 Replies to “Heartland”

  1. I was absent for the spiritual, but present for the social, and as always, it was cool hanging out. I think it’s a fair statement to say that folks think you’re keen.

  2. Perhaps within this context the answer to the question “what would you do if you had no fear?” would have a different answer than the that which first came to the surface.

    So very glad your experience of Heartland was a positive in your world.

    D.

  3. Since this is locked, I feel alright posting this. Email me offline at rachb@tmail.com I want to get your number and give you mine. I enjoyed spending time with you and your lovely…and would like to have some more face time with you both, together and individually. I think we have much to learn from oneanother, to discuss, music to listen to, books and movies to haggle about…you know: THE GOOD STUFF. ;0)

    R.

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