If you’re actually interested in making amends and rebuilding burnt bridges, it is perhaps not the smartest of ideas to make a request which clearly demonstrates that
A) You’re really only interested in scheduling as many “redemption appointments” as you can on your convenient day off,
B) You’re only doing this as a public effort because of an ultimatum you’ve received, and you need to show progress by Saturday,
and
C) You view me as the one that you can reschedule, so that you can concentrate on the ones who count.
I suppose this way, he’s managed to neatly avoid being popped in the fucking mouth for calling me “brother.”
That’s it. I’m done.
You know, he’s trying, he really is. He monumentally fucked up, that can’t be denied. He has a lot of people that he needs to deal with and he’s trying not to put it off. Not just b/c of this Saturday(which I do agree is a major part of his timing) but b/c he’s put it all off long enough. Thursday is his only day off this week and he mentioned that he wanted to move back his lunch with you to give you two more time to talk. That to me doesn’t sound like he’s trying to put you off or make room for others.
And you can ignore me, or tell me to fuck off or whatever but everyone has this idea of what he should do for them and when he doesn’t do it exactly that way, he’s the bad guy again.
Just my $.02. For whatever it’s worth.
His email to me explicitly states that it’s to make room for others.
My response told him to just concentrate on those others. I’m not willing to be “pencilled in.”
If he gave a shit, he’d have found a way. He could’ve asked me to meet him after work on any night, and I would’ve done it. He could have called on the phone, and I would have talked. He could have emailed, and I would have responded.
It is absolutely NOT about having an “idea of what he should do” for me. It’s about the fact that I would have responded to ANY FUCKING THING AT ALL….and he still manages to show how little some of us matter to him.
You know, after I posted the comment, I wished I hadn’t said anything. B/c I have only my perspective and don’t understand where everyone else is coming from.
I want to try to understand but I’ll keep my mouth shut from now on.
And I really mean that just the way it reads, there’s no underlaying snarky sarcasm. I’ll just stand on the edge and observe. And I’ll either see it be built back up piece by painstaking piece or watch it crash and burn. Either way, I’ll know it was the result of the parties involved and I had nothing to do with it.
Screw that, Brooke — you’re part of the family we’ve all created, and you have as much right to say what’s on your mind as anyone else. Never censor that.
The only way to understand where everyone else is coming from is to talk. We’ve had enough silence, I think.
I agree with Gareth – don’t stop talking if you have something to say. It is good for you to put in your voice. Dissenting voices are very important. And we all only have our own perspective.
If you have not felt slighted or hurt or whatever by Mike, then it is GOOD for you to stand up for him. He’s your friend. You don’t have to be mad at him if you aren’t.
We are also your friends, and any of us that holds that to be worth anything will respect your opinion and your voice regardless of how it conflicts with our own. All you can do is say, “hey, this is what this looks like to me,” and all we can do is respond, hopefully in a non-agressive, communicative way.
I, for one, want to believe he is trying. Maybe he is. Maybe it’s a reaction to an ultimatum. It will take time to prove either way. Time time time.
If you have not felt slighted or hurt or whatever by Mike, then it is GOOD for you to stand up for him. He’s your friend. You don’t have to be mad at him if you aren’t.
This has to be one of the most staggeringly mature statements I have ever read. It’s not that I’m surprised to read you say it (you know what I mean), but it’s so…amazing? comforting? heartening? to know that I have some of the world’s most incredible friends.
Thanks. I do know what you mean. Of this whole situation, one of the only things I can say is that I’ve tried and tried to act like an adult.
amen. silence will only kill what is beloved though hurt. by talking about the hurt there is a possiblity that the hurt can be eased.
This from a total outsider, knowing nothing of what is going on. Having only love for all invloved and a knowledge of how love works.
All involved includes you dear.