(This was sent to me — I loved it, so I’m sharing)
Joe gets up at 6:00am to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot full of good clean drinking water because some Liberal fought for minimum water quality standards.
He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some Liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employers medical plan because some Liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too because his employer needs to offer competitive benefits to hire the best people.
Joe prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some Liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.
Joe takes his morning shower, reaching for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents because some Liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree hugging Liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.
Joe drives to work in one of the safest cars in the world because some Liberal fought to raise safety standards and emission controls.
Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with good pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some Liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some Liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
Its noon, and Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC up to $100,000 because some Liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from greedy, unscrupulous bankers like the ones who ruined the banking system before the depression.
Joe needs to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten Mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some Liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his life-time.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans. The house didn’t have electric until some big government Liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad lives on Social Security and his union pension because some Liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to. After his visit with dad he gets back in his car for the ride home.
He turns on a radio talk show, the host keeps saying that Liberals are bad and Conservatives are good. (He doesn’t tell Joe that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day)
Joe agrees, “We don’t need those big government Liberals ruining our lives; after all, I’m a self made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have”.
6 Replies to “A Day in the Life of Joe Conservative”
I’ve seen this before and I love it. Mind if I link to you in tomorrow’s post?
Go right ahead!
Will do. Thanks!
“Joe is a moron.”
Yup, the badwrong Libberuls are out to destroy America. Of course, the neocons miss a point brought up by, of all, things, The Tick:
“Can your powers destroy the world?”
“Egads, I hope not! THAT’S WHERE I KEEP ALL MY STUFF!”
Beautiful, fucking beautiful.
Funny, I just ran across it while I was tagging entries the other day.