Formulating the Perfect Ass

A psychology lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University has devised a mathematical formula to describe the perfect female posterior.

(S+C) x (B+F)/T = V.

It assesses shape, bounce, firmness and symmetry. S is the overall shape or droopiness of the bottom, C represents how spherical the buttocks are, B measures muscular wobble or bounce, while F records the firmness. V is the hip to waist ratio, or symmetry of the bottom, and T measures the skin texture and presence of cellulite.

It’s all scientifical. (Nods sagely.)