Crapitty Crap Crap.

As I mentioned a few days back, I had decided not to audition for KCRF, because I doubt that I can handle the physical demands of being on cast.

I woke up this morning from a dream about performing.

When asked, in the dream, why I had changed my mind, I said “because not auditioning felt too much like surrender.”

Well, SHIT.

Now I have no idea what the hell I’m gonna do.

7 Replies to “Crapitty Crap Crap.”

  1. I sympathize, hon, but I have to advise: Listen to your body. Seriously.

    If you fuck something up to the point where you cannot perform at faire again, how stupid will you feel then?

    Now, if you honestly believe you can coax your body into condition suitable for the rigors of 7 weeks at faire, by all means, go for it. If you don’t however: is your performance need worth your health?

  2. I agree, and was going to post something similar. Don’t let yourself be bullied into doing something that could mess you up, even if the bully is your own mind.

  3. For whatever it’s worth, if you take this year to go easier on your body and better your health, you will be that much stronger and ready next year.

    And Chess Match is a lot of fun and very limited in commitment.

    Just an opinion.

  4. Yes, I agree! There is Chess Match, Special Weekend Performers, shop workers, lots of options.

    Remember, there are many many ways to be involved, not just as a full time performer :-)

    And you know we support you if you do decide to go for it.
    (and you know you could join later in the season as well)

  5. Gareth,

    You well know that I am, physically, barrelling toward the day when faire will literally no longer be an option for me.

    I promise you, you do not fucking want to get to that day yourself any earlier than necessary. If you go scenario, you are guaranteeing yourself that outcome by the end of this years faire (hell, probably before the faire even goes up), because Jim will not give you an inch. He will literally work you to your body’s distruction.

    Should you take the Chess Match route, you will have exactly the in you desire: a show (one of the most attended shows at the faire), the ability to come in and work the streets of the faire as you see fit and are able (meaning, you deal with it all at the physical pace you can handle), and absolutely NONE of the bullshit that comes with dealing with the scenario commitment.

    Once you work for “Mel Brooks”, you won’t go back. You’ll keep the future opportunity to put up a show at the faire (considering the outside issues with your show this year, it was doubtful for this year whether or not the money was cut). And you’ll still be able to do to the faire in the future.

    Succinctly, don’t do it Gareth, it’s a trap.


  6. Yes, you do know

    exactly what you are going to do. You’re not going to audition.

    The dream is just your way of processing the emotions surrounding that decision. You don’t like it. It’s a crappy place to be. But it is the right decision. Take care of you. You are the only one who can do that.

    AND then you be able to walk at the end of faire *hint, hint*

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